“Oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are traveling with a child or see someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person. Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it.”
I was coming home from an international trip and had heard this on the overhead speakers in the airplane a few times that week. Each time, it was as if I couldn’t hear anything else in the world on my noisy airplane except that announcement. All of the troubles in my world melted away and I was completely focused on learning what to do in case of an oxygen emergency. Honestly, the airplane announcements never really interested me, so I was keenly aware at the fact that I was listening.
I wrote the words to the announcement in my journal hoping that one day it would make sense as to why I was listening so intently.
That was three years ago.
As any church worker knows, Holy Week and the events leading up to introduce a variety of services, meetings, as well as emotions and weight to our schedules. It’s an important season in the church world and there’s a lot of emphasis placed on remembering Christ’s death and celebrating His resurrection. After all, we are Easter people.
This year, in the midst of Holy Week, our church and community suffered a tragedy that affected everyone deeply and shook us to the very core of our existence. It was horrific and life altering and consumed our thoughts and emotions. I was to lead students and families through processing this all the while figuring out the why and how on my own. Which usually just led to me screaming at God in my car because how did He ever think I was going to handle this one?!
It was about one in the morning when I finally got home and settled one night. I was emotionally exhausted and needed to settle down to try to get some sleep to prepare for the next day. I was in the middle of having a really good cry in the shower when the only thing that replayed in my head was the flight announcement that was seared into my brain three years ago. I’ve heard it several times since then, of course, but this night, it was replaying over and over again with no flight attendant voice. Just my own.
“Please secure your oxygen mask first, before assisting another person.”
In ministry we like to use buzz words and create cultures around ideas and movements, and for the past decade we’ve been pretty set on the idea of soul care.
I’ll be honest, I hate the buzz words soul care, but I like the idea of caring for our own souls. The idea that we have to rest ourselves to take care of other people – that’s something I can get behind.
So, as I prepared to sleep in the midst of tragedy and heartache and devastation, I re read the words I wrote in my journal three years ago over and over again. I knew that God was teaching me something about self care that I couldn’t have learned any other way except the hard way. This way. The tragic way. The tearful way. The 1am way. The painful way.
I know that God is for me and He will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that my encounter with Him that night in the midst of my heartache was to remind me who He is, who I am in Him, and that He, too, is the God of rest, not just the God of the busy.
The truth that week was that I couldn’t take a day off, I couldn’t rest, I couldn’t care for my own soul very well. I thank God that our rest comes from Jesus and not from sleep or I’d really be in trouble!
The Gospel of Matthew tells us to let our YES be YES and our NO be NO – anything other than this is evil. I was given some days off following Holy Week to rest. It was like a little gift my Pastor wrapped up in a package and handed me with his words. When I started telling people that I had some days off, they immediately began to fill my schedule with things they thought would be good for my soul. “Why don’t you come here…” “Why don’t we do this….” “Why don’t you think about coming with me here…” “We should go…” Honestly, none of those things seemed appealing to my soul. The only thing I wanted to do to care for my soul was wake up to no alarm clock, eat the peanut butter eggs that were in my Easter basket, and workout. I wanted to have no schedule, to have no plans, to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, how I wanted to do it, and with who I wanted to do it. I realized in the midst of this chaos that my life is so finely scheduled that rarely can I make a split second decision to do something that would bring my soul the deep care that it needs to be sustainable in the demanding life of youth ministry.
Friends, if we are not caring for ourselves, we cannot care for another. If we are not putting our oxygen masks on first, we will never be able to breathe life into the ones who desperately need to fill their lungs.
It is not selfish to care for your mind, body, and soul in order to serve others better.
It is not selfish to get to the gym instead of going to meet a student for coffee.
It is not selfish to find an outlet of writing, reading, music, or athletics, to free your mind of the mess it often gets in.
It is not selfish to be in your own small group, meet regularly with friends who hold you accountable, or take some extra time to read and journal before you walk into your office in the morning.
It is right.
It is required.
The world tells us that it’s selfish.
God tells us that we must do those things in order to be effective and sustainable in youth ministry – or anywhere for that matter!
Put on your oxygen mask. It’s a wild, exciting, fun, and sometimes tragic ride – and we wouldn’t want to miss it because we’ve run out of air.
Oh, and my week, you’re wondering? I’ve gotten a massage, had more iced coffees than any human should, have worked out twice daily, cleaned out my closets, and watched every single episode of Chicago Fire and Chicago PD that were ever created. I’ve had friends over for breakfast, sat in the hot tub twice, met other friends for dinner, and said no to meeting others. I’ve ignored work emails, texts, and phone calls that aren’t emergencies and I’ve said no to hanging out with a student. I’ve slept past 6am and I’ve stayed up later than 2am. It’s been wonderful. Freeing. Exciting. Fun. I feel happy again, healthy, and ready to get back to work in a few days. I’ve let my YES mean YES and my NO mean NO. I’ve made no plans 20 minutes before they are to take place and I finally laughed from my belly again.
I’m not back yet, but it’s good to be on the road to recovery.
I’m breathing much deeper with the oxygen mask on.
Put yours on, friend.
You’ll be grateful.
Questions for Reflection:
How is God calling you to better care for your self?
What action steps can you take this week to begin moving toward an oxygen-filled you?
Who can you be accountable to in order to help prevent burn out?
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Megan Faulkner is a Delaware native, now claiming the shores of New Jersey as her home. She graduated in 2007 from Eastern University in Philadelphia with a B.A. in Youth Ministries and Communication Studies. She’s been in full time youth ministry for eight years now, and has loved most minutes of it!
She can often be found on an airplane to and from Haiti (not kidding), on the beach, or swimming/biking/running. She recently completed her first Iron Girl Triathlon with the goals of not dying and not coming in last!
Megan loves social media and connecting with other youth workers, especially through writing. Her blog, Joy in the Journey, can be found at meganfaulkner.tumblr.com
Ways to Connect:
@MeganEFaulk (Twitter & Instagram)
facebook.com/megan.faulkner.31
James (not his real name) is a core student of mine who I’ve been trying to meet with for a couple of months. We have a weekly routine. I text him and ask if he can get together this week. He replies with one reason or another why he’s too busy to meet. Wash, rinse, repeat. James and I have a great relationship. He’s not avoiding me to, he’s just busy.
On this surface, this is a classic example of a teenager who isn’t committed. Youth workers LOVE to complain about the busyness of teens these days. We talk about how sports, school activities and a lack of priorities is eroding the faith of teens. It’s easy to blame these external factors because it shifts the focus off of ourselves.
All this complaining leads me to think that we’ve unintentionally equated church attendance with spiritual maturity. We live by the axiom “Mature teens are in youth group more than non-mature teens.” We do this because it’s easy to measure and it makes logical sense. After all, God did create us for community and the church is the way God has chosen to work in the world. The problem is that this assumption subtly changes our job description. We go from being a shepherd who pursues students to a salesman who must convince kids to come. Success is defined as spiritual brand loyalty where teens are repeat customers. I can influence these kinds of results, but ultimately, they are out of my control.
So let’s put you back in the driver’s seat and focus on a success profile that you CAN control.
I’d like to suggest that you and your leaders’ commitment to students is more important than your student’s commitment to your youth group.
Instead of convincing students to show up at your stuff, why don’t you spend your energy showing up at theirs?
In the awesome book Creating a Lead Small Culture, the Orange folks talk about challenging leaders to show up predictably, mentally and randomly in students’ lives. The emphasis is leaders going to their students instead of expecting them to come to us.
This isn’t a new revelation but a reminder of a timeless truth. Jesus didn’t wait for us to come to his Trinity party. Nope. He packed up his stuff and moved into our neighborhood. That’s why he compared himself to the Shepherd who left the many to pursue the one sheep who had gone astray. (Luke 15:1-7)
Pursuing students will generally result in students who are more consistent. When our leadership team did the research for our students we found that the students we pursued more were the ones who showed up more. I never said our team was brilliant. It just confirms what I already understand. I am a pastor, not a salesman. I cannot convince someone into the kingdom, but I can reflect Jesus’ unrelenting love for us. When we as youth workers understand this we can pursue teens with joy instead of guilt.
I may not be successful at getting James to come hang out with me, but I am successful at pursuing James. I believe that means a lot to him. He know that each week I am pursuing him in the name of Jesus and that is going to stick with him long after he graduates. So next week, I’ll send out that text and that will be my success story. What will be yours?
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Kevin Libick is a Middle School Pastor living in Fort Worth, TX with his wife Kara and her two cats. He is a novice banjo picker and expert Hawaiian food eater. Kevin loves to connect with other youth workers and equip them to live out their calling in God’s Kingdom. Kevin loves to connect with and empower youth workers. Connect with Kevin on Twitter: @kevinlibick
You will leave the youth ministry you currently lead. It might be next year or in 10 years, but you will leave. The ministry will be cast into transition. But the question is: Will your transition in youth ministry be healthy?
Since January, my wife and I have been praying through God’s will for our life and ministry. Long story short, God is moving our family and ministry to Round Rock, Tx where I will serve as the lead Student Pastor at The Fellowship Church.
This decision to move did not come easy. We spent many nights praying, laughing, and weeping desiring to know what God wanted from us. We didn’t see this offer coming, so we wanted to make sure we heard from Him and didn’t just pursue the new shiny offer.
In your ministry, odds are you will be here also. At some point you will leave the youth ministry you are currently leading.
So let’s examine how we can transition youth ministry faithfully.
Transition in Youth Ministry
Step One: Question Everything
One of the hardest things is to discern and understand is the will of God. Maybe you are more holy than I, and God speaks to you in an audible voice or via email, but not me. I have to petition Him when it comes to the big things. When it comes time for me to get that “one, most important, course-of-your-life-altering choices, right,” I have to seek Him earnestly.
This is how I questions everything:
Bible – What is God speaking to me through scripture? This is God’s primary means of communication to us, and His will will never contradict Scripture. Psalm 119:105 offers, “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Prayer – What is God speaking to me through prayer? Am I telling Him what I want or am I listening for His will? Pray that He would bend your will to His. In Luke 11:9-10 Jesus states, “And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”
Wise Counsel – What are the people you trust most saying about this opportunity or decision? Proverbs 19:20-21 offers, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Holy Spirit – Where is the Holy Spirit stirring you? What keeps you awake? Where do you feel He is moving through? Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Opportunity – What doors has God opened and closed? Why should you even consider this option? Kevin DeYoung in Just Do Something states,
“Live for God. Obey the Scriptures. Think of others before yourself. Be holy. Love Jesus. And as you do these things, do whatever else you like, with whomever you like, wherever you like, and you’ll be walking in the will of God.”
You will leave your youth ministry. Will it be by His doing or yours? How do you go about hearing from God? Comment below!
David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” -Ecclesiastes 3:1 (or if you sing the words “turn, turn, turn” – The Byrds). These words ring true in my life as I sit at the end of one season and the beginning of another.
Announcement
This coming Sunday, April 5th, will be my last Sunday as the Student Pastor at LifePoint Church. The past month has been filled with plans for transition, goodbye’s, and dreaming about what my new season will look like. God has called my wife and I to Round Rock, Texas, just north of Austin, to The Fellowship Church where I will serve as the Student Pastor.
Transitions like this bring mixed emotions.
On the one hand, I will dearly miss LifePoint Church and the students I have seen develop into men and women of God. While on the other hand, I am so excited to see what God has in store at The Fellowship and ecstatic to begin doing life with the students and families in Round Rock.
What I’ve Learned
Transitions bring perspective.
This transition has allowed me to critically evaluate what I (w/ the help of Jesus, obvi) have been able to accomplish over the past four years. It has helped me gain perspective on what I need to do differently as I begin a new chapter. It has helped me grasp what is foundational and what is peripheral to the health and development of a student ministry.
Time flies, relationships matter.
I can’t believe I have been at LifePoint four years. It has felt like a decade. Not because it has felt long and drawn out, but because of how much I have seen this ministry mature, and because of how deep my relationships run. I am proud of what God has allowed me to accomplish, which makes this transition even harder. As I prepare to leave, it’s the relationships that I will miss.
There is never a “good” time to leave.
If I’m being honest, deep down I wrestled with guilt over leaving even though I was here four years. I don’t want to be the Youth Pastor that church hops looking for the best opportunity. I want to be the Youth Pastor that invests deeply and commits to the long run. However, there will never be a “good” time to leave. If you leave because of frustration with your context, that’s certainly not a “good time.” But alternatively, if you have been invested deeply over a long period of time, it makes transition all the more difficult! There is never a good time to leave, but rather we must trust God’s timing and will. But don’t be the 18 month’er!
Transition faithfully, finish strong.
The last thing you want to do is hit cruise control your last month on the job. How you set the next regime up for success matters. The message you leave your students with matters. The way you honor your leaders for their faithful service matters. The way you talk about the leaders of the church your leaving matters. Finish strong, transition faithfully, then set your eyes to the road God has before you.
I’m excited to share with you in the coming months what God does through my transition out of one student ministry and into another.
How have you transitioned in youth ministry? What have you done well? What have you done poorly? What advice do you have? Comment below!
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
Yesterday I gave a Palm Sunday message a little different than I’ve given before. Rather than focusing on the royal imagery we are given in the triumphal entry into Jerusalem, I focused on the fair-weathered crowd.
Matthew 21:8-9 tells us:
Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.9 And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting,“Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!”
Most of the crowd. As Jesus entered the last week of His life, most the crowd praised Him, and used Psalm 118:25-26 verbiage to identify Him as the expected Messiah.
This sight quickly evolved into a rioting mob that would chant “Crucify, crucify Him!” (Luke 23:18-25)
We Are The Crowd
What I wanted to convey to students on Sunday was that we are the crowd. Every week we proclaim “Hosanna (salvation) in the highest! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” as we enter our churches and direct our attention toward God, only to live a week that that screams “crucify, crucify Him” as we live by our own standards and seek to establish our own kingdoms.
What I wanted to accomplish Sunday was a tension. A tension that students would have to wrestle with this week as they contemplated the coming of Easter Sunday. I wanted students to feel like the wavering crowd. I wanted students to live in the tension between full surrender to Christ and living for their own wants and desires. The crowds were looking for a political king and what they got was a suffering savior. Many of our students are looking for a kind safety net and need to experience a sovereign Lord.
May we not shove answers down our students throats but rather invite them into the tension of faith where their wants and convictions wrestle in order to discover what they truly believe.
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
I am excited to announce that The Youth Ministry Blog is about to get a whole lot sweeter! In the coming weeks we will launch Youth Ministry TV. The goal of Youth Ministry TV is no different than the blog. We desire to train, equip, and encourage youth workers…while having fun…and conversation.
Take a look at the teaser:
If you want to know what we end up talking about, just click the button below and stay tuned:
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
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Ben Fawcett is a six year student ministry veteran, who is currently serving as the Associate Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Texas. He is currently enjoying typing this bio out in third person, and aspires to one day speak in only third person.
Youth Ministry can be one of the most frustrating jobs. Just when you think your students are perfect angels and living sold out for the glory of God, someone pulls back the curtain to reveal the ugly truth. I had a curtain moment recently and I had conflicting feelings. Part of me was frustrated and wanting to drop some truth bombs on those students, but the other side of me just kept thinking “student make mistakes.”
The last thing I want is an attitude of “teens will be teens” where I ignore student development, but I also recognize that despite my best efforts, I cant change students. That is the role of the Holy Spirit. Teenagers are trying on identities, they are living life through the process of trial-and-error trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. This process comes with mistakes.
What’s important is not how we police our students, but how we model Jesus to our students. Our students, like Israel in the OT, will bounce back and forth between obedience and rebellion. May we model the loving grace of Jesus when our students mess up. May we be the people they call in the midst of their rebellion. May we wisely address their mishaps and point them toward a purpose and identity in Christ.
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
I was recently interviewed by Jody Livingston over at The Longer Haul. We sat down and discussed theology in youth ministry. It’s a great podcast and this is a great primer on how to infuse theology into your youth ministry. Take a listen and subscribe to The Longer Haul Podcast:
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
This past weekend I attempted to replace a bathroom sink faucet. While this might not sound like a difficult thing for some of your super handy folks, let me share something about myself…I’m no handy man. If I was installing a new faucet in a new sink, I think I could make it work. However, I was installing a new faucet in an old sink which led to a whole slew of issues including a slow leak. Often times, ministry feels this same way.
In ministry, we should always be looking to keep our processes and programs up to date. However, often times we can’t overhaul the entire bathroom…I mean ministry. Sometimes you have to deal with existing structures and make the new fit in with the old. This can be tricky, but it can be done (and sometimes has to be done).
I can’t afford to replace my pale yellow, seashell sink, countertop (I’m a youth pastor). However, I can replace the dated faucet. When I went to install the new drain, I quickly realized I would have to use the old drain and guts as the new stuff would NOT fit the dated countertop. I had to compromise, install the new faucet, then spray paint (sweet metallic spray paint at that) the old drain and stopper to give it the updated look. I had to make the old drain system and the new faucet play nice together and make them look like they belonged together.
In ministry, we should be excited about the introduction of new things. However, we must not be naive and think these new initiatives will seamlessly fit in with the ministry that has been happening for some time. Your new initiatives might not play well with programs that have been in place long before you got there. You might inadvertently slaughter a sacred cow and send the elderly in your congregation into a frenzy! Your new initiatives might not kill programs, but you might find that it’s the older people/staff at your church that do not want to play nice with your new ideas. This can be crazy frustrating.
What you need in these times is patience and skill.
You must be patient with the old systems and people understanding you can’t just gut the bathroom and start over. They were there before you and they will probably be there after you! However, this doesn’t mean we should accept mediocre or dying ideas. We must skillfully and tactfully figure out how to make our new initiatives play nice with the systems/people in place. This process of trial and error will require an insane amount of patience, but in the end will prevent leaky ministry.
Leaky ministry is what happens when the old and new refuse to work together. Leaky ministry happens when the new tries to forcefully replace the old or when the old refuses to accept the new. Leaky ministry happens when people try to change too much too fast or when people never change anything at all. Leaky ministry happens when programs that once drew the masses are kept despite being a shadow of their former self. Leaky ministry happens when people pretend that newer is always better.
May we prevent leaky ministry by being good stewards of the past while moving forward to where the Lord wants to take us next.
Maybe you have experienced this. How did you navigate it? Comment below!
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David Hanson: Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask.
Sometimes I try to count the errors within ministry that I have made. I would like to think that I could recall all my ministry mistakes. However, the reality is that there are many I am unaware of. I entered into student ministry fully aware of my reliance on God for life and life eternal, but through ministry, God has revealed to me that my reliance upon Him is much grander then I imagined.
The saint burns grace like a 747 burns fuel on take off. –Dallas Willard
The all-consuming machine of salvation that drives us towards the Lord God is powered by grace, and within this awesome machine of salvation are many gears, one of which being ministry. Left to my own devices I would only serve myself and only in the manner that I desired. However, God has placed His machine of salvation into my very being, and I have now become a living demonstration of His grace. It is the grace of our perfect God that allows me to serve Him in the midst of my imperfection. The grace of our generous God that allows me to be a participant in the good works that He has prepared for me. As the gears of salvation turn transforming me inwardly, my ministry is a reflection of grace outwardly. Or so I hope….
Remember this; or you may fall into error by fixing your minds so much upon the faith which is the channel of salvation as to forget the grace which is the fountain and source even of faith itself. –H. Spurgeon
There is not a day that goes by that God does not overwhelm me. He extends so much goodness, faithfulness, and mercy to me… so much grace! If God is the fountain of grace then I am a toxic pool of sin that His purifying waters have flooded into. The fact that I am a pastor does not change that truth. I am man of pride, selfishness, and hypocrisy. So, how is it that I am able to serve God by making disciples? How is it that His Gospel permeates in my soul?
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. – Ephesians 2:8
The answer is grace. The very same grace that I burn through every single day as I strive to draw close to Jesus Christ. I hope to do a better job of modeling my reliance on God’s grace to my students. I pray that my students would come to rejoice in the grace of God instead of shamefully clinging to sin in silence. I have both made and will continue to make many mistakes in ministry…. Praise God for His rich love and mercy because I have a grand need for His grace!
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Ben Fawcett is a six year student ministry veteran, who is currently serving as the Associate Student Pastor at LifePoint Church in Plano, Texas. He is currently enjoying typing this bio out in third person, and aspires to one day speak in only third person.
